Pumpkin Pecan Crumb Bread
There is literally nothing better than a home warmed up by a busy oven turning out sweet seasonal treats so the first chance you get, bake this bread. It’s a small luxury in a world where that feels ever more chaotic. Plus, a slice of this goes great with your morning coffee.
First, warm up your oven to 350 degrees and grease and flour a standard 5x9 loaf pan.
Next, let’s make the crumble. In a small bowl, mix together the chopped pecans, ½ cup flour, sugar, and cinnamon until everything looks all mixed up. Then drizzle in the oil while stirring that shit around until you get little crumbed up balls but most of it looks well mixed. Easy. Now it’s loaf time.
In a large bowl, whisk together the flour, baking soda, spices, and salt. In a small glass, stir the milk and the vinegar together and set it aside. Now in a small bowl, stir together the pumpkin, sugars, melted butter, and vanilla extract. Stir the ground flax seeds into the milk mixture then stir all that shit into the pumpkin mix you’ve got going. Make a well in the center of the large flour mixture then dump the pumpkin mixture in the center. MIx all of that together until everything is just combined and there aren’t any big dry spots. Be careful to not over mix this because then the loaf turns out gummy and dense. You don’t want that. Pour the batter into the prepared loaf pan and sprinkle the crumb mixture over the top sorta evenly.
Pop that whole thing into your oven and bake for 50 minute to 1 hour or until a toothpick stuck all over that loaf comes out clean. This loaf takes awhile to cook but it’s totally worth it so fucking be patient.
Let the loaf cool for at least one hour before serving. While this is great the day it’s made, if you can wait until the next day to slice it up, it’s even better, The spices really make their presence known after 12 hours so your loaf will be so much more delicious the next day. Be strong.
*You can just skin and steam some pumpkin then throw it in a food processor or use canned pumpkin puree. Your call.
Hot Chocolate Mix
This winter why not treat yourself to something like a big mug of this holiday hottie? Or if you’re the generous type, throw a big bath of this mix in a jar, slap a fucking bow on it, and now you’ve got a cheap and tasty gift.
This holiday season don't just stay warm, PUT A ROARING FUCKING FIREPLACE IN YOUR GUT. BREATHE FIRE. SLAY THE HOLIDAYS. DRINK RESPONSIBLY BITCHES.
Cold Brewed Coffee
We know you need caffeine sometimes but don’t even fucking think about reaching for a RedBull or 5-Hour Energy. We’ll slap that shit out of your hand so quick you won’t know whatthefuck happened.