Buffalo Caesar Wrap
Y’all ever fuck around and wrap some food with twine? Can’t explain why but somehow it just makes food taste better. Someone fund the science behind this please.
Warm your oven up to 450 degrees. Throw the flour, cornstarch, baking powder, and salt into a medium-sized bowl then whisk in the beer. That shit is gonna foam up but it’ll go down, no stress. Just mix it up enough that all the big clumps are gone then set it aside. Throw the panko in a similar bowl and move on.
Grab the hearts of palm and cut each piece down the middle. If some of the pieces are still too big then split that shit again. Ya know what's too big to go inside a wrap. We got faith in you.
Now it’s time to bread those bitches. Working in batches, drag the hearts of palm through the beer batter until they’re coated then toss them in the breadcrumbs to coat 'em one more time. Place on the baking sheet and spray with a lil oil. Bake for 15 minutes.
While those are getting crispy, make the buffalo sauce. Just throw all the ingredients in a sauce pot, stir it around so the garlic powder isn't in a clump, and warm over a medium heat until its starts to simmer and all the butter is incorporated. Then turn off the heat. Easy as hell. Never buy shit premade. They’re tricking you into buyin shit you don't need.
When the hearts of palm are looking a little golden, pull them out and let them cool slightly. Now one by one, dip those crispy boys into the buffalo sauce till they’re all coated and place em back on the cookie sheet. DO NOT put them in a bowl and just toss that shit together with the sauce bc you're gonna lose all the breading so yeah, this method is more tedious but trust the technique. Once they’re all coated, throw them back in the oven for another 10 minutes to crisp them bastards back up a lil. Now you're ready to wrap.
Toss the lettuce with the caesar dressing and throw a big handful on your flatbread or tortilla with some celery and cucumber sticks and a little black pepper. Add a few of the buffalo hearts of palm, drizzle any extra buffalo sauce on top and some extra caesar if you're feelin saucy and then get to wrapping. Serve right away or save all the parts for a dope ass lunch. You could also leave out the wrap and just eat this as a salad too.
* These are like a salad bar staple from the '80s. They don't have much taste so they're the perfect vehicle for covering in sauces. You’ll find them in cans or jars near the canned veggies or olives at your grocery store.
Fresh Herb Potato Salad
You can’t have a legit BBQ without a badass potato salad. But don’t be a dick and buy that nasty shit at the store. Make this instead; it is cheap as fuck and super easy.
Fresh Corn and Herb Pasta Salad
Ya know how you lied and said you’d actually bring something to the party this time? FUCKING DO IT. Did someone else bring a pasta salad?