Coconut Caramel Dip
Don’t use Halloween as an excuse to count a big ass bag of mediocre candy as a snack. You know damn well that shit is just going to fuck with your stomach. Instead calm your cravings with this coconut caramel dip. It’s a sweet treat that goes great with apple slices or whatever the hell you dip in it.
Now go work on your fucking costume, that shit never looks half as good as you hoped. LOWER THOSE EXPECTATIONS.
Grab a small saucepan and dump everything in. Put the pot over a medium heat and stir together all the ingredients so that the sugar starts to dissolve.
Bring it to a gentle boil for at least 15 minutes or until about half the liquid has evaporated and that the fucker starts to look like caramel. Yeah, you fucking know what it should look like. Stir every minute or so while that's happening so you don’t get a gross skin on top or let that son of a bitch boil over.
Let it cool for at least 15 minutes before you serve it. If you decide to make this ahead of time it will really thicken up in the fridge, so pull it out 30 minutes before you want to get down so that it can warm to room temperature for easier dipping. Serve with some motherfucking apple slices.
*The kind from a can. None of that fancier shit.
Tahini Chocolate Chip Cookies
Don't wait for some rando to roll thru in musical van so that you can get an ice cream sandwich.