PUT.THE.FUCKING.CAN.OPENER.DOWN. Trust us on this shit. Just look at the sugar content in that canned cranberry crap THEN check the serving size. GODDAMN RIGHT?! You and your loved ones deserve better than that red ribbed corn syrup
Take a sharp ass knife and cut a sliver of the skin off the lemon about the size and length of your pointer finger. Just try not to get too much of the white part underneath the yellow skin because that shit can be bitter.
Add the lemon zest slice and the rest of the ingredients to a medium saucepan and bring them to a gentle simmer over a medium heat. If you like your sauce a little sweeter, add the extra tablespoon of sugar but this bitch will be nice and tart either way. You will hear the cranberries start to burst which might be confusing but it’s fine just calm your shit. Maybe sip some of that bourbon. Stir every now and then but you want to keep that motherfucker bubbling until most of berries have burst and the sauce is starting to thicken up, about 10-12 minutes.
Pull out the piece of lemon zest and let the sauce cool before serving. It will get thicker as it cools so keep that in mind. If you want you can cut some more zest and garnish it, make it look all fancy and shit. Your guests will be like “DAMN. You see that zest?”
Sourdough Herb Stuffing
For the rest of us who enjoy stuffing that WASN’T cooked in a bird’s ass, carb load up with our Sourdough Herb Stuffing. You’ll need your energy to flip the table when Nana starts in on the election.
Potato and Swiss Chard Gratin
Put down those mediocre mashed potatoes and pick up this superb side dish. Sure, a gratin is just a fancy sounding casserole but nobody will give a damn what the name is once they taste it.
Cranberry and Quinoa Pilaf with Roasted Brussels Sprouts
"I HATE BRUSSEL SPROUTS" - someone who's never had our brussel sprouts