Dark and Stormy Coconut Cream Pie

Prep Time
30 min
Cook Time
3 hr
makes 1 pie, enough for 8 people
Dark and Stormy Coconut Cream Pie

Some days you need a drink

Some days you need a pie

Today you get both.


Coconut Rum Custard Filling
3 tablespoons cornstarch or arrowroot powder
1/4 cup cane sugar
pinch of salt
1 13.5 ounce can of coconut milk, about 1 ¾ cup
3/4 cup almond or other non-dairy milk
¼ cup dark rum
1 ½ teaspoons vanilla extract
1 teaspoon freshly grated ginger
Lime Shortbread Pressed Crust
1 ½ cups all purpose or whole wheat flour
2 tablespoon sugar
2 teaspoons fresh lime zest, about 1 limes worth
½ teaspoon salt
¼ cup kinda melted coconut oil
¼ cup olive oil
1-2 tablespoons almond milk, if needed
2 batches of Coconut Whipped Cream (in all our books) or store-bought
toasted coconut flakes to garnish

Whisk together the cornstarch, sugar, and salt in the bottom of a medium saucepan. Slowly whisk in around 1/3 cup of the coconut milk and make sure there aren’t any clumps. Any clumps will ruin this pudding as much as they ruined Eddie Murphy. Be afraid. Once all the starch is dissolved, whisk in the rest of the milk, rum, extract, and ginger and put the pot over a medium high heat. Keep whisking until the mixture is bubbling and you can feel it start to thicken up to sort of gravy texture.

Now, turn down the heat to a medium low and grab a spatula. Keep the pot at a gentle simmer and keep scraping the bottom and the sides with a spatula to avoid pudding skin. That shit is gross. Keep this up for 7-10 minutes or until you splooge some of the custard across the top of the pot and that spot holds its shape for a couple seconds. Gross but fucking accurate. Pour this in medium bowl, cover, and stick it in the fridge to set up, about 2 hours.

While the custard is setting, make the crust. Warm up your oven to 375 degrees. Grab a standard sized pie or tart pan and mix dry ingredients together with a fork inside of it. Make a well in the center and add the oil. Mix this all together until it all kind of clumps together and forms a ball. Add the milk a little at a time if it’s not quite coming together. You can also do this in a food processor. It’s easier but then you’ve got another thing to wash. When you’ve got your ball of dough, flatten and press into the pan in pie crust shape and flute the edge or just make them look pretty.Bake at 375 for 10-12 minutes or until its golden brown all over. Let it cool for about 15 minutes then make a fucking pie.

Once the custard has fully set, go ahead and mound it in on top of the pie crust, making sure to keep it even all the way across the pan. Spread on batch of the whipped cream over the top, sprinkle over the toasted coconut and serve. This pie is fucking awesome but best eaten within 3 days of being made because the custard won't keep its shit together long after that.

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