Chop up the onion and bell pepper into pieces about bean size. You want that shit to fit on a chip, you know? Dice up the garlic all small and shit. Grab a big ass pot and heat up the olive oil over a medium heat. Add the onions and cook them until they start to look a little brown, about 5-8 minutes. Add the bell pepper and tempeh and cook for another 5 minutes. Add the garlic, chili powder, cumin, oregano, paprika, and salt and cook for another minute. By now, your whole place should start smelling good enough to make the fucking neighbors jealous. Add the beer, tomato paste, diced tomatoes, and broth then scrap any spice shit that started sticking to the bottom of the pot. Let that all simmer together for 5 minutes. There should some beer left in the can, sip that shit while you’re waiting.
Now add the beans. Stir everything and turn down the heat to medium low. Slap on a lid and let that simmer for about 2-30 minutes. Set a timer if your silly ass is easily distracted. After the 30 minutes, stir it around and if you still want a thicker chili take off the lid and let it simmer for another 10-15 minutes. When the chili looks legit by your standards, add the lemon juice then taste that motherfucker. Depending on the brand of tomatoes you got, you might need to add some maple syrup to balance the taste out. Taste again and see if it needs more chili powder or salt. Throw in some cayenne pepper if you like that shit hot.
Pour over some corn chips and lay out some fresh toppings like red onion, jalapeños, and cilantro. Drizzle our Beer Cheese Sauce over the top if you're feelin like treatin yourself.
*You can use whatever beans you got but the best options are: pinto, black bean, navy, and kidney.
Mexican Style Grilled Corn aka Elote
Don’t spend your Memorial Day weekend letting your creepy uncle serve limp hot dogs and hockey puck hamburgers.
Grilled Romaine Salad
Burgers are so bland that’s why you basically gotta dress that shit up with a salad after you grill it. CUT OUT THE MIDDLE MEAT AND JUST GRILL A SALAD.
Tahini Chocolate Chip Cookies
Don't wait for some rando to roll thru in musical van so that you can get an ice cream sandwich.