Wedge Salad with Miso Hemp Seed Dressing

First make the dressing. Add the ⅓ cup hemp seeds, vinegar, oil, milk, miso, red onion, garlic, and salt to a blender or food processor and run that shit until it looks creamy. Fold in the remaining hemp seeds for some nice texture and boom, that shit is done. Stick in the fridge until it’s time to eat.

Now I have to write out how to make a salad, which is weird. Are you still reading? Here it goes, in case you’ve never seen a fucking salad before. Put the lettuce wedge on a plate then drizzle the dressing over it. Use that shit like glue to get the toppings to stick. Then sprinkle over the tomatoes, red onion, the Red Lentil Bacon-ish Bits, and the minced chives. Finish with some fresh cracked black pepper and it will look almost too beautiful to eat. But you’re def gonna want to eat it.

Serve each wedge with a fork and knife so people can cut it up and dig in.