Cook the pasta according to the package directions. While that shit is boiling, chop all the veggies.
While the pasta is draining in the sink, use that same pot to make the sauce. Warm up the olive oil over a medium heat. Add the onion and sauté it around with a pinch of salt for about 5 minutes or until it starts to look translucent. Add the carrot and celery and cook for another 5-7 minutes until the onion gets some color on it. Add the mushrooms and soy sauce and cook for another 3 minutes so that the mushrooms can release some of their moisture. Plop in the tomato paste, spices, garlic, and vinegar and cook it all up just long enough to get everything mixed together. Add the lentils and wine and mix that fucker all up again. Now pour in the veggie broth and let this come to a gentle simmer, stirring occasionally, until the lentils are tender, about 18-25 minutes.
When the lentils taste done, shake the nutritional yeast and flour over the top and gently mix them in. This will help make the sauce thicken up so don’t just dump that shit in or you’ll end up with a gross glob. Let this simmer for 2-3 minutes and you should feel it kinda start to thicken just a little. Fold in the pasta and herbs and let this all cook together for another 1-2 minutes so the pasta can absorb all the fucking flavor you just built.
Now turn off the heat, add the lemon juice, and salt and pepper to taste. Serve right away and top with more parsley to make that shit look fancy.
* These lentils hold their shape better than your standard brown or green lentil so they’re worth hunting for.