Recipes

Repurposing Thanksgiving leftovers in a sandwich is so damn predictable. When you're cramming cold chaos between a couple slices of bread just to eat over the kitchen sink, you've given up.

Have you ever seen the living nightmare mascot for Hamburger Helper? That shit is terrifying. But ya know what's worse than that?

SOUP IS JUST A BELLY SWEATER.

COLON CANCER AIN'T FUCKING AROUND. You gotta eat more broccoli bc it's like a toothbrush for your asshole. It's way more effective and a HELLUVALOT CHEAPER than a juice cleanse.

If your potlucks are just dips and casseroles, it's time to upgrade. Whip up a batch of these next level noodle nests and shame the shit out of your friends' dishes. ANYONE BRINGING BEAN DIP YOU'RE GETTIN DISH DUTY FUCK OUTTA HERE WITH THAT.

Don't let the recipe intimidate you, sure there's a few steps to this dish but if it's just like assembling lasagna SO CALM THE FUCK DOWN AND GET WITH THIS CAIRO COMFORT FOOD

Got some less-than-fresh veggies taking up valuable real estate in your fridge? Don’t toss them in the trash, roast those bitches. Just because something’s old doesn’t mean it’s worthless so CALL YOUR GRANDPARENTS.

You can still eat like a kid because NOSTALGIA ISN'T JUST FOR SHITTY MUSIC