Recipes

Spiked Citrus Iced Tea

NO SHIT IT'S HOT, IT'S FUCKING SUMMER. Pull yourself together, go find some shade, and kick back with spiked citrus iced tea.

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Hot Chocolate Mix

This winter why not treat yourself to something like a big mug of this holiday hottie? Or if you’re the generous type, throw a big bath of this mix in a jar, slap a fucking bow on it, and now you’ve got a cheap and tasty gift.

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Stone Fruit Smash

Don’t let summer slip by without sipping on this refreshing sonuvabitch. Plums, plucots, pluots, use whatthefuckever you can find. LEVEL UP YOUR LIBATIONS.

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Lavender Lemonade

Five simple fucking ingredients in this shit right here. Whip up this high class cocktail when you're feelin sweaty but fancy. And no high-fructose fuckery either. Splash this with some vodka and UNLOCK MAX RELAX MODE.

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Sparkling Pomegranate Punch

Punch your way into the New Year with this glass of class. MAKE 2019 FEAR YOU ESTABLISH DOMINANCE EARLY.

Happy New Year's Bitches 

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Cranberry Spritzer

Cranberry sauce is a holiday leftover that just keeps on givin. You can put that shit in a sandwich, mix it in a salad, or even a cocktail. So go rescue that cranberry sauce from the back of the fridge and GET LIT WITH LEFTOVERS.

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Naughty Sour

This holiday season don't just stay warm, PUT A ROARING FUCKING FIREPLACE IN YOUR GUT. BREATHE FIRE. SLAY THE HOLIDAYS. DRINK RESPONSIBLY BITCHES.

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Strawberry Lime Margaritas

this drink’s got whole fruit and citrus so if anyone gives you shit for drinkin more than one or seven just tell ‘em you’re getting your fiber

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