Recipes

NO SHIT IT'S HOT, IT'S FUCKING SUMMER. Pull yourself together, go find some shade, and kick back with spiked citrus iced tea.

This winter why not treat yourself to something like a big mug of this holiday hottie? Or if you’re the generous type, throw a big bath of this mix in a jar, slap a fucking bow on it, and now you’ve got a cheap and tasty gift.

Don’t let summer slip by without sipping on this refreshing sonuvabitch. Plums, plucots, pluots, use whatthefuckever you can find. LEVEL UP YOUR LIBATIONS.

Five simple fucking ingredients in this shit right here. Whip up this high class cocktail when you're feelin sweaty but fancy. And no high-fructose fuckery either. Splash this with some vodka and UNLOCK MAX RELAX MODE.

Punch your way into the New Year with this glass of class. MAKE 2019 FEAR YOU ESTABLISH DOMINANCE EARLY.

Happy New Year's Bitches 

Cranberry sauce is a holiday leftover that just keeps on givin. You can put that shit in a sandwich, mix it in a salad, or even a cocktail. So go rescue that cranberry sauce from the back of the fridge and GET LIT WITH LEFTOVERS.

GRAPEFRUIT HOT TODDY AKA HUG IN A MUG AKA DOCTORS ORDERS AKA COLD CRUSHER

This holiday season don't just stay warm, PUT A ROARING FUCKING FIREPLACE IN YOUR GUT. BREATHE FIRE. SLAY THE HOLIDAYS. DRINK RESPONSIBLY BITCHES.

this drink’s got whole fruit and citrus so if anyone gives you shit for drinkin more than one or seven just tell ‘em you’re getting your fiber