Recipes

COLON CANCER AIN'T FUCKING AROUND. You gotta eat more broccoli bc it's like a toothbrush for your asshole. It's way more effective and a HELLUVALOT CHEAPER than a juice cleanse.

It's that time of year when it's pumpkin spiced everything but you need somethin heartier than a goddamn latte.

ENCHILADAS ARE JUST TACO CASSEROLE

ANYBODY WHO SAYS YOU CAN'T EAT POPSICLES FOR BREAKFAST CAN FUCK ALL THE WAY OFF BC THESE FROSTY BOYS HAVE NO ADDED SUGAR SO TECHNICALLY IT'S A SMOOTHIE CHECKMATE BITCH

Why do coworkers always ask what you ate for lunch? LEVEL UP YOUR SMALL TALK PATRICK OR GO BACK TO YOUR CORNER IN HR. Anyways, here’s a recipe for a soba noodle salad that's so dope that it’s a worthy steal from the shared fridge.

Yeah, yeah, yeah all you banh mi purists WE KNOW this is far from traditional BUT our version of this Vietnamese classic is so goddamn good that it might just ruin all future sandwiches for you. YOU’VE BEEN WARNED. ENJOY AT YOUR OWN RISK.

CHILI VS. QUESO BATTLE IT OUT IN A GODDAMN DELICIOUS DUEL WHERE THE ONLY WINNER IS YOU

this drink’s got whole fruit and citrus so if anyone gives you shit for drinkin more than one or seven just tell ‘em you’re getting your fiber

If you’ve gone all summer without drinking a single slushie, take the rest of the day off and whip up this refreshing motherfucker right here.

Getting ready for Cinco de fucking Mayo?  This year you might make a couple shitty judgment calls but don’t start with your margarita mix. You see how many goddamn ingredients are in those fuckers? Red 40?