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Tired of the same old mayo-mess of pasta salad spoiling in the summer sun? Ditch that cream colored bullshit and get with this fiber rich son of a bitch.

from Bad Manners: Eat Like You Give a Fuck

Think all green dips must be guacamole?

Clear room on the grill for these stuffed sons of bitches. They pack a lot more flavor and nutrition than some lazy, played-out veggie kebabs. This shit is loaded: Beta-Carotene, Vitamin C, Fiber and B Vitamins.

Summer is winding down but there’s still some sweet produce left out there. Go grab some goddamn nectarines and make this pasta while you still can, before all-pumpkin-everything season starts.

You’re not still fucking with some mayo-soaked pasta salad, right? Because that shit always gets left in the sun for the wasps. Fuck all that. Whip up a bowl of these next level noodles and start spring with SOME GODDAMN RESPECT FOR YOURSELF. 

SWEET TAP DANCING MOSES WHY IS IT SO HOT IN MAY? EARTH, YOU OKAY BUDDY? Keep your core temp down this unusually warm-as-balls spring with a bowl of our cold sesame noodles.

Why do coworkers always ask what you ate for lunch? LEVEL UP YOUR SMALL TALK PATRICK OR GO BACK TO YOUR CORNER IN HR. Anyways, here’s a recipe for a soba noodle salad that's so dope that it’s a worthy steal from the shared fridge.

COLON CANCER AIN'T FUCKING AROUND. You gotta eat more broccoli bc it's like a toothbrush for your asshole. It's way more effective and a HELLUVALOT CHEAPER than a juice cleanse.