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SWEET TAP DANCING MOSES WHY IS IT SO HOT IN MAY? EARTH, YOU OKAY BUDDY? Keep your core temp down this unusually warm-as-balls spring with a bowl of our cold sesame noodles.

From award-winning author Michael W.

Enchiladas are really just wet burrito casserole. A classic recipe from our first cookbook and reader fav. This shit is simple, filling, and makes for killer leftovers. 

Every holiday season someone brings a dry ass veggie platter with ranch to an office party. Sad. But you'd never bring that to a party.

GRAPEFRUIT HOT TODDY AKA HUG IN A MUG AKA DOCTORS ORDERS AKA COLD CRUSHER

Summertime is the best time for fruit but don’t limit that shit to only dessert. Grill up whateverthefuck looks good and throw it in a salad or on some grains.

You’re not still fucking with some mayo-soaked pasta salad, right? Because that shit always gets left in the sun for the wasps. Fuck all that. Whip up a bowl of these next level noodles and start spring with SOME GODDAMN RESPECT FOR YOURSELF. 

You mean to tell me there’s some motherfucker that builds toys in his house on a sheet of ice all year then delivers them in one night and you’re just gonna fucking offer him store-bought cookies?

Hoppin’ John is not only a staple recipe for good fortune every New Year but it’s also a pretty solid fucking meal.