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Whether you’re spending Valentine’s Day with your significant other or your own sexy self, you’ve gotta fucking eat. But skip the expensive-ass restaurant and predictable chocolate covered whatever.

You’re not still fucking with some mayo-soaked pasta salad, right? Because that shit always gets left in the sun for the wasps. Fuck all that. Whip up a bowl of these next level noodles and start spring with SOME GODDAMN RESPECT FOR YOURSELF. 

It's that time of year when it's pumpkin spiced everything but you need somethin heartier than a goddamn latte.

Are you tired of spending every Thanksgiving watching your family shove their hands up a dead bird’s ass? If only there was a better way...

Spread some of this goodness on your next sandwich. It’s fucking delicious. And it lets you double up on your protein sources and cut down on the fat. Shit, don’t limit yourself to just sammies.

Today marks the beginning of the Lunar New Year, so what the hell are you cooking up?

Once a year people do this weird thing and get all fucking jazzed about eating a big ass bird that looks like a poor-man’s peacock. If turkey really tasted that good then everyone would be cooking those fuckers year round.

Clear room on the grill for these stuffed sons of bitches. They pack a lot more flavor and nutrition than some lazy, played-out veggie kebabs. This shit is loaded: Beta-Carotene, Vitamin C, Fiber and B Vitamins.

Trying to feed a big ass crowd for the football game? DON’T FUCK AROUND WITH SOME CAMPBELL'S CHUNKY SODIUM SOUP. Serve your guests this gridiron grub and give those bastards protein, fiber, and a full stomach all on the cheap.

SWEET TAP DANCING MOSES WHY IS IT SO HOT IN MAY? EARTH, YOU OKAY BUDDY? Keep your core temp down this unusually warm-as-balls spring with a bowl of our cold sesame noodles.

You can’t have a legit BBQ without a badass potato salad. But don’t be a dick and buy that nasty shit at the store. Make this instead; it is cheap as fuck and super easy.

It’s cold as a motherfucker outside with no end in sight. So why not warm up with a big bowl of this liquid sunshine and start thawing from the inside out?