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Whether you’re spending Valentine’s Day with your significant other or your own sexy self, you’ve gotta fucking eat. But skip the expensive-ass restaurant and predictable chocolate covered whatever.

How the fuck is Nature’s Valley still putting crumbs in bags and selling them as breakfast bars? Shit is disrespectful and a dry sponge would taste better than those crumb catastrophes. NOT OUR BARS.

Anyone who wakes up early on a weekend to go wait in a brunch line for an hour only to order pancakes is weak. Instead of spending stacks, stay home and make your own.

Potatoes are just a suggestion cuz they're an easy party snack but this sauce is dope on almost everything. Spread it on a sandwich, serve it with some raw veggies, bread, whatever you’ve got.

You mean to tell me there’s some motherfucker that builds toys in his house on a sheet of ice all year then delivers them in one night and you’re just gonna fucking offer him store-bought cookies?

Don’t waste another Fall by settling for some lesser seasonal treat. That overhyped bullshit distracts from the real fucking reason for the season: DESSERT. Bake these bitches up and you’ll realize pumpkin is better chewed, not sipped.

Forget buying some nasty ass scented candles to make it smell like Fall. Bake a batch of this badass bread and your place will smell dope as hell.

Trying to eat better? START WITH PIZZA. This sweet potato pizza crust has all of the taste and none of the baked, bleached bullshit.

If you’ve never had a pierogi then you have our condolences. Sure these dumpling-ravioli hybrids take some fuckin effort to make but good shit takes time.

Don't wait for some rando to roll thru in musical van so that you can get an ice cream sandwich. 

Are you tired of spending every Thanksgiving watching your family shove their hands up a dead bird’s ass? If only there was a better way...

There’s rum cake and that’s pretty dope, right? So why not wine cake? Some people might see a cake and ask why, we see a cake and ask wine.