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Whether you’re spending Valentine’s Day with your significant other or your own sexy self, you’ve gotta fucking eat. But skip the expensive-ass restaurant and predictable chocolate covered whatever.

You’re not still fucking with some mayo-soaked pasta salad, right? Because that shit always gets left in the sun for the wasps. Fuck all that. Whip up a bowl of these next level noodles and start spring with SOME GODDAMN RESPECT FOR YOURSELF. 

How the fuck is Nature’s Valley still putting crumbs in bags and selling them as breakfast bars? Shit is disrespectful and a dry sponge would taste better than those crumb catastrophes. NOT OUR BARS.

This recipe has everything: bread, roasted garlic. FUCKING EVERYTHING.

Forget buying some nasty ass scented candles to make it smell like Fall. Bake a batch of this badass bread and your place will smell dope as hell.

If you’ve never had a pierogi then you have our condolences. Sure these dumpling-ravioli hybrids take some fuckin effort to make but good shit takes time.

Put down those mediocre mashed potatoes and pick up this superb side dish. Sure, a gratin is just a fancy sounding casserole but nobody will give a damn what the name is once they taste it.

Every holiday season someone brings a dry ass veggie platter with ranch to an office party. Sad. But you'd never bring that to a party.

This coulis has a shitload of vitamin C to upgrade any breakfast SO START YOUR DAY WITH SOME C SAUCE.

Are you tired of spending every Thanksgiving watching your family shove their hands up a dead bird’s ass? If only there was a better way...

Spread some of this goodness on your next sandwich. It’s fucking delicious. And it lets you double up on your protein sources and cut down on the fat. Shit, don’t limit yourself to just sammies.