You’re not still fucking with some mayo-soaked pasta salad, right? Because that shit always gets left in the sun for the wasps. Fuck all that. Whip up a bowl of these next level noodles and start spring with SOME GODDAMN RESPECT FOR YOURSELF.
COLON CANCER AIN'T FUCKING AROUND. You gotta eat more broccoli bc it's like a toothbrush for your asshole. It's way more effective and a HELLUVALOT CHEAPER than a juice cleanse.
Every holiday season someone brings a dry ass veggie platter with ranch to an office party. Sad. But you'd never bring that to a party.
Today marks the beginning of the Lunar New Year, so what the hell are you cooking up?
Clear room on the grill for these stuffed sons of bitches. They pack a lot more flavor and nutrition than some lazy, played-out veggie kebabs. This shit is loaded: Beta-Carotene, Vitamin C, Fiber and B Vitamins.
SWEET TAP DANCING MOSES WHY IS IT SO HOT IN MAY? EARTH, YOU OKAY BUDDY? Keep your core temp down this unusually warm-as-balls spring with a bowl of our cold sesame noodles.
In case you haven’t been outside lately, summer is here with a goddamn vengeance. Which means it’s burger season. But don’t fire up that rusty ass grill, you’re probably outta propane anyways.
BUFFALO HAVE BALLS NOT WINGS, so you know this meal is legit. When was the last time you had a kick in the fucking taste buds? These spicy sons of bitches are high in heat but low in fat because they’re baked not fried.
Summertime is the best time for fruit but don’t limit that shit to only dessert. Grill up whateverthefuck looks good and throw it in a salad or on some grains.
You know how you lied and said that you’d actually bring something to the party this time? FUCKING DO IT. Did someone else bring a pasta salad?
Why do coworkers always ask what you ate for lunch? LEVEL UP YOUR SMALL TALK PATRICK OR GO BACK TO YOUR CORNER IN HR. Anyways, here’s a recipe for a soba noodle salad that's so dope that it’s a worthy steal from the shared fridge.
It’s cold as a motherfucker outside with no end in sight. So why not warm up with a big bowl of this liquid sunshine and start thawing from the inside out?
