You’re not still fucking with some mayo-soaked pasta salad, right? Because that shit always gets left in the sun for the wasps. Fuck all that. Whip up a bowl of these next level noodles and start spring with SOME GODDAMN RESPECT FOR YOURSELF.
This recipe has everything: bread, roasted garlic. FUCKING EVERYTHING.
COLON CANCER AIN'T FUCKING AROUND. You gotta eat more broccoli bc it's like a toothbrush for your asshole. It's way more effective and a HELLUVALOT CHEAPER than a juice cleanse.
Potatoes are just a suggestion cuz they're an easy party snack but this sauce is dope on almost everything. Spread it on a sandwich, serve it with some raw veggies, bread, whatever you’ve got.
Trying to eat better? START WITH PIZZA. This sweet potato pizza crust has all of the taste and none of the baked, bleached bullshit.
Have you ever seen the living nightmare mascot for Hamburger Helper? That shit is terrifying. But ya know what's worse than that?
THIS FLU SEASON AIN'T FUCKIN AROUND AND YOU SHOULDN'T EITHER which is why you need a big bowl of our roasted tomato soup bc that canned soup ain't nothin but spoonfuls of sodium.
Don’t spend your Memorial Day weekend letting your creepy uncle serve limp hot dogs and hockey puck hamburgers.
THIS IS A PEANUT BUTTER CUP IN THE SIZE YOU ALWAYS WANTED BUT WERE TOO ASHAMED TO ASK FOR DON'T WORRY YOU'RE NOT ALONE THERE ARE MILLIONS OF US OUT THERE PEANUT BUTTER CUP JUNKIES RISE UP
