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Whether you’re spending Valentine’s Day with your significant other or your own sexy self, you’ve gotta fucking eat. But skip the expensive-ass restaurant and predictable chocolate covered whatever.

How the fuck is Nature’s Valley still putting crumbs in bags and selling them as breakfast bars? Shit is disrespectful and a dry sponge would taste better than those crumb catastrophes. NOT OUR BARS.

You might be thinking rosemary and caramel corn might seem odd as hell together but that shit works. Unlikely combinations have given us such amazing things like Alien vs Predator. Or Freddy vs Jason. Or Batman and Scooby Doo.

Trying to eat better? START WITH PIZZA. This sweet potato pizza crust has all of the taste and none of the baked, bleached bullshit.

This smoothie, from the lovely ladies at Simple Green Smoothies, tastes like a creamsicle but without all motherfucking food dye and cor

If you’ve never had a pierogi then you have our condolences. Sure these dumpling-ravioli hybrids take some fuckin effort to make but good shit takes time.

Don't wait for some rando to roll thru in musical van so that you can get an ice cream sandwich. 

Are you tired of spending every Thanksgiving watching your family shove their hands up a dead bird’s ass? If only there was a better way...

Once a year people do this weird thing and get all fucking jazzed about eating a big ass bird that looks like a poor-man’s peacock. If turkey really tasted that good then everyone would be cooking those fuckers year round.

These protein packed bites are the snack equivalent of putting on gym clothes but never actually going.

Everything is exhausting right now but chin up bitches bc COOKIES. These citrus poppy seed cookies are a refreshing summer snack for beating the heat or trying to ignore the headlines.

ENCHILADAS ARE JUST TACO CASSEROLE