You’re not still fucking with some mayo-soaked pasta salad, right? Because that shit always gets left in the sun for the wasps. Fuck all that. Whip up a bowl of these next level noodles and start spring with SOME GODDAMN RESPECT FOR YOURSELF.
So you bought a pomegranate because it's in season but you dunno what the fuck do with it? SALAD SAUCE. Everybody needs to be eating more salad, make that shit extra fancy with this simple pomegranate vinaigrette.
SWEET TAP DANCING MOSES WHY IS IT SO HOT IN MAY? EARTH, YOU OKAY BUDDY? Keep your core temp down this unusually warm-as-balls spring with a bowl of our cold sesame noodles.
Y’all ever fuck around and wrap some food with twine? Can’t explain why but somehow it just makes food taste better. Someone fund the science behind this please.
BUFFALO HAVE BALLS NOT WINGS, so you know this meal is legit. When was the last time you had a kick in the fucking taste buds? These spicy sons of bitches are high in heat but low in fat because they’re baked not fried.
Summertime is the best time for fruit but don’t limit that shit to only dessert. Grill up whateverthefuck looks good and throw it in a salad or on some grains.
You can’t have a legit BBQ without a badass potato salad. But don’t be a dick and buy that nasty shit at the store. Make this instead; it is cheap as fuck and super easy.
You know how you lied and said that you’d actually bring something to the party this time? FUCKING DO IT. Did someone else bring a pasta salad?
Cranberry sauce is a holiday leftover that just keeps on givin. You can put that shit in a sandwich, mix it in a salad, or even a cocktail. So go rescue that cranberry sauce from the back of the fridge and GET LIT WITH LEFTOVERS.
Why do coworkers always ask what you ate for lunch? LEVEL UP YOUR SMALL TALK PATRICK OR GO BACK TO YOUR CORNER IN HR. Anyways, here’s a recipe for a soba noodle salad that's so dope that it’s a worthy steal from the shared fridge.
