Search

Today marks the beginning of the Lunar New Year, so what the hell are you cooking up?

Once a year people do this weird thing and get all fucking jazzed about eating a big ass bird that looks like a poor-man’s peacock. If turkey really tasted that good then everyone would be cooking those fuckers year round.

You know damn well you don’t eat enough fruit but you sure as shit hit that waffle quota every month. Why not sneak some fruit into your batter for a sweet winter treat that will make you feel less guilty for your waffle habit.

It's that time of year when it's pumpkin spiced everything but you need somethin heartier than a goddamn latte.

This winter why not treat yourself to something like a big mug of this holiday hottie? Or if you’re the generous type, throw a big bath of this mix in a jar, slap a fucking bow on it, and now you’ve got a cheap and tasty gift.

GRAPEFRUIT HOT TODDY AKA HUG IN A MUG AKA DOCTORS ORDERS AKA COLD CRUSHER

Punch your way into the New Year with this glass of class. MAKE 2019 FEAR YOU ESTABLISH DOMINANCE EARLY.

Happy New Year's Bitches 

When you’re feelin’ sick, you might immediately reach for tomato soup. That’s fine, but basic, so maybe consider this shit: parsnips. They’ve got a bunch of fiber and vitamins, plus this soup is what we can only describe as velvety as fuck.

Don't settle for a boring breakfast. You deserve a better start to your day and this tea steeped toast is gonna get you noshing like nobility.

This holiday season don't just stay warm, PUT A ROARING FUCKING FIREPLACE IN YOUR GUT. BREATHE FIRE. SLAY THE HOLIDAYS. DRINK RESPONSIBLY BITCHES.