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We know you need caffeine sometimes but don’t even fucking think about reaching for a RedBull or 5-Hour Energy. We’ll slap that shit out of your hand so quick you won’t know whatthefuck happened.

Why do coworkers always ask what you ate for lunch? LEVEL UP YOUR SMALL TALK PATRICK OR GO BACK TO YOUR CORNER IN HR. Anyways, here’s a recipe for a soba noodle salad that's so dope that it’s a worthy steal from the shared fridge.

SWEET TAP DANCING MOSES WHY IS IT SO HOT IN MAY? EARTH, YOU OKAY BUDDY? Keep your core temp down this unusually warm-as-balls spring with a bowl of our cold sesame noodles.

Summertime is the best time for fruit but don’t limit that shit to only dessert. Grill up whateverthefuck looks good and throw it in a salad or on some grains.

GRAPEFRUIT HOT TODDY AKA HUG IN A MUG AKA DOCTORS ORDERS AKA COLD CRUSHER

Repurposing Thanksgiving leftovers in a sandwich is so damn predictable. When you're cramming cold chaos between a couple slices of bread just to eat over the kitchen sink, you've given up.

BUFFALO HAVE BALLS NOT WINGS, so you know this meal is legit. When was the last time you had a kick in the fucking taste buds? These spicy sons of bitches are high in heat but low in fat because they’re baked not fried.

This soup is hearty enough to fight off the last bits of cold weather but the lemon and dill make this shit feel bright and ready for spring. Never cooked with barley? Well this is a solid start for your uneducated ass. 

It’s cold as a motherfucker outside with no end in sight. So why not warm up with a big bowl of this liquid sunshine and start thawing from the inside out?