Recipes

In case you haven’t been outside lately, summer is here with a goddamn vengeance. Which means it’s burger season. But don’t fire up that rusty ass grill, you’re probably outta propane anyways.

Why do coworkers always ask what you ate for lunch? LEVEL UP YOUR SMALL TALK PATRICK OR GO BACK TO YOUR CORNER IN HR. Anyways, here’s a recipe for a soba noodle salad that's so dope that it’s a worthy steal from the shared fridge.

Yeah, yeah, yeah all you banh mi purists WE KNOW this is far from traditional BUT our version of this Vietnamese classic is so goddamn good that it might just ruin all future sandwiches for you. YOU’VE BEEN WARNED. ENJOY AT YOUR OWN RISK.

Alfredo should NEVER be bought. This is prob the easiest, simplest, and classiest sauce to make at home. It's usually got a shitload of fat tho, which is just unnecessary especially if you're pourin it over carbs.

Are you tired of spending every Thanksgiving watching your family shove their hands up a dead bird’s ass? If only there was a better way...

Summer is winding down but there’s still some sweet produce left out there. Go grab some goddamn nectarines and make this pasta while you still can, before all-pumpkin-everything season starts.

You’re not still fucking with some mayo-soaked pasta salad, right? Because that shit always gets left in the sun for the wasps. Fuck all that. Whip up a bowl of these next level noodles and start spring with SOME GODDAMN RESPECT FOR YOURSELF. 

Once a year people do this weird thing and get all fucking jazzed about eating a big ass bird that looks like a poor-man’s peacock. If turkey really tasted that good then everyone would be cooking those fuckers year round.

Whether you’re spending Valentine’s Day with your significant other or your own sexy self, you’ve gotta fucking eat. But skip the expensive-ass restaurant and predictable chocolate covered whatever.

Hoppin’ John is not only a staple recipe for good fortune every New Year but it’s also a pretty solid fucking meal.

Today marks the beginning of the Lunar New Year, so what the hell are you cooking up?