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Mixed Berry Summersicles
This summer weather isn’t waiting on the ice cream truck to start making the rounds. But before you start pulling out your cash and that dusty ass fan from last year, whip up a batch of these sweet sons of bitches to help you keep your cool.
Strawberry Oat Bars
How the fuck is Nature’s Valley still putting crumbs in bags and selling them as breakfast bars? Shit is disrespectful and a dry sponge would taste better than those crumb catastrophes. NOT OUR BARS.
Cold Brewed Coffee
We know you need caffeine sometimes but don’t even fucking think about reaching for a RedBull or 5-Hour Energy. We’ll slap that shit out of your hand so quick you won’t know whatthefuck happened.
Sweet Potato Chai Spiced Scones
You mean to tell me there’s some motherfucker that builds toys in his house on a sheet of ice all year then delivers them in one night and you’re just gonna fucking offer him store-bought cookies?
Frosted Gingerbread Bites
Last minute holiday shopping? FUCK ALL THAT NOISE. Why don’t you stay home and celebrate in style with some of these spicy sweet bastards?
Sunset Limeade
Our new favorite simple summer drink that doubles as a great margarita mix without all the high fructose syrup and artificial coloring because you deserve a helluva lot better than that.