Recipes

Quick Pickled Red Onions

These tangy sons of bitches add a crunch to any salad, sandwich, or try em in a taco. Plus the pink makes even the most basic dishes look elevated as hell. Easy, tasty, instagrammable. 

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Sparkling Pomegranate Punch

Punch your way into the New Year with this glass of class. MAKE 2019 FEAR YOU ESTABLISH DOMINANCE EARLY.

Happy New Year's Bitches 

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Chickpea Dumpling Soup

This stew is thick as fuck and tasty as hell. If you have never had a version of this Southern staple then GET THE FUCK ON IT.

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Earl Grey French Toast

Don't settle for a boring breakfast. You deserve a better start to your day and this tea steeped toast is gonna get you noshing like nobility.

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Naughty Sour

This holiday season don't just stay warm, PUT A ROARING FUCKING FIREPLACE IN YOUR GUT. BREATHE FIRE. SLAY THE HOLIDAYS. DRINK RESPONSIBLY BITCHES.

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Pomegranate Vinaigrette

So you bought a pomegranate because it's in season but you dunno what the fuck do with it? SALAD SAUCE. Everybody needs to be eating more salad, make that shit extra fancy with this simple pomegranate vinaigrette. 

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Cranberry Sauce

PUT.THE.FUCKING.CAN.OPENER.DOWN. Trust us on this shit. Just look at the sugar content in that canned cranberry crap THEN check the serving size. GODDAMN RIGHT?!

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Vegetable Potpies

Are you tired of spending every Thanksgiving watching your family shove their hands up a dead bird’s ass? If only there was a better way...

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