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Ya like General Tso’s chicken? Or at least you’ve definitely had orange chicken. Well, that’s the kinda shit we’re aimin’ for here. Also, not a thing in China. That is some specifically American shit.

COLON CANCER AIN'T FUCKING AROUND. You gotta eat more broccoli bc it's like a toothbrush for your asshole. It's way more effective and a HELLUVALOT CHEAPER than a juice cleanse.

Cranberry sauce is a holiday leftover that just keeps on givin. You can put that shit in a sandwich, mix it in a salad, or even a cocktail. So go rescue that cranberry sauce from the back of the fridge and GET LIT WITH LEFTOVERS.

PUT.THE.FUCKING.CAN.OPENER.DOWN. Trust us on this shit. Just look at the sugar content in that canned cranberry crap THEN check the serving size. GODDAMN RIGHT?!

This summer weather isn’t waiting on the ice cream truck to start making the rounds. But before you start pulling out your cash and that dusty ass fan from last year, whip up a batch of these sweet sons of bitches to help you keep your cool.

We’re so tired of seeing rolled potato tacos that taste bland as fuck. It's lazy. Just put some ketchup on that and call it a french fry.

Everything is exhausting right now but chin up bitches bc COOKIES. These citrus poppy seed cookies are a refreshing summer snack for beating the heat or trying to ignore the headlines.

Tired of the same old mayo-mess of pasta salad spoiling in the summer sun? Ditch that cream colored bullshit and get with this fiber rich son of a bitch.

This smoothie, from the lovely ladies at Simple Green Smoothies, tastes like a creamsicle but without all motherfucking food dye and cor

You can still eat like a kid because NOSTALGIA ISN'T JUST FOR SHITTY MUSIC

NO SHIT IT'S HOT, IT'S FUCKING SUMMER. Pull yourself together, go find some shade, and kick back with spiked citrus iced tea.